Let’s start with the backstory of this post due to the importance. So you see I’m just walking into cooking class one day (It was a Friday close to the end of the day so I’m feeling pretty great) and I see a substitute. You may ask yourself, “What happens in cooking class with a substitute teacher?”-You. Well not a movie, or cooking, eliminate fun from the guesses too. You see we have to do a PROJECT. And not an entertaining project either some boring ass time consuming presentation that takes the whole class and is worth a hella ton of points. And we don’t get many grades in this class so if you mess up on one of these, you’re donzo.
Ok backstory over, what you are about to read is the dieting paper I turned in word for word and received a C- on! This is the same man that also used Jared Fogle as a “good example” so his judgment may be a tad bit off.
Hey overweight people out there do you want to make a change? Get yourself a new honey or drive a new car. Lucky for you that’s all possible with a new dieting practice, The Cheat To Lose!
With the cheat to lose practice, you can gorge yourself one day of the week (Saturday) and still drop the weight. And when I say “gorge ” I mean it, eat whatever, whenever in those 24 hours. It’s kinda like a dieting purge, no rules or laws just you living life to the fullest. But you see these calories offset because the rest of the week is complete hell.
Sunday-Friday (the rest of the 6 days), follow a low carb, low fat diet that kinda just allows for chicken and rice. A little bland but you won’t even suffer because once Saturday rolls around, the weekly Kroger trip will be filled with unnecessary calories. They say never shop on a hungry stomachache, wonder what they say about shopping on a stomach with the urge to devour unhealthy food because you haven’t tasted the slightest bit of sugar in 144 hours (6 days).
Soon the weight will be dropping quicker than the candy bar wrappers! EASY PEASY LEMON SQUEEZY
So listen up people with some extra meat on their bones, it’s not too late. Just follow the Cheat to Lose diet and your gonna be looking like a piece of cake, not consuming one, unless of course it’s Saturday!
Alright that’s a wrap, comment below if you think I deserved a better grade than an C- and I’ll catch you on the flippity flop!
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